You ARE becoming your mother!!

There was a time when I knew everything that there was to know... that, of course, was when I was in the 8th grade. Because of my vast knowledge, I found irritation in things here and there, that my mom and dad did "incorrectly",  in their day to day lives. For some reason, I was especially annoyed by something that my parents did all the time. They repeatedly watched the news and weather in a short amount of time. There wasn't 24/7 cable news at that point, no weather channel, but it seemed to me that everyday, they would watch the 5pm local news, 5:30 national news, and THEN the 6pm local news AGAIN. I mean really, did anything change in the last 30 minutes? Did a hurricane develop and threaten the Texas coast in the last half hour? I should think not. They didn't even bother to change the channel, it was the same exact footage! Seriously. And while we are discussing ridiculous parent behavior, why did they want you to make your bed each day? I always thought to myself, why would you make a bed that you are just going to mess up again in a few hours?...it made no sense to me. Funny thing happened along the way to adulthood...I became remarkably like my parents. Most people say at one point or another, I am NEVER going to do this or that like my parents...but they do, it is almost inevitable. I have been known to watch the weather channel for hours at a time, when no major weather is going on in my neck of the woods, or any other, for that matter. I am, by definition, a news junkie. My "default" channel is a cable news source. I read numerous online news carriers several times a day and have apps that notify me of major breaking news delivered via text message to my cell phone. There are many times when I repeat the 5,5:30,6 pattern that my parents modeled, and on the same station I might add, only I also throw in the 4 o'clock edition as well. I also, without thinking, make my bed each morning. Those are two silly examples, but they are simply to make a point. I have learned that the older I get, the less I know. Life is funny that way. I have also learned with age, that there aren't very many ways that I can come up with, that I wouldn't want to be EXACTLY like my parents. With each passing year, I pray that I become even more like them, than I am right now. So, to all readers with children who seem to know it all...if they appear not to appreciate you now, don't worry, they will...just as soon as they realize that, thankfully, they have become you.

I blame the stooges.

I think it's funny when people trip, stumble, fall or the like. I know I shouldn't, but I do. I don't think it's funny if the elderly fall or if someone is hurt badly, but other than that, pretty much everyone is fair game. I can't seem to help it, if I catch a glimpse of someone out of control on their way down, I am going to laugh. I try to show great restraint and make sure that they are okay first, but then, I literally LOL. Now to be fair, there is absolutely nothing funnier than when I eat it. Almost a year ago, I took quite a tumble down some stairs. I mean there was talk that I might require surgery, I couldn't walk without pain for about three months..it was serious. But before it was serious, it was hilarious. I was carrying something large down some stairs outside my home. Plain and simple, I missed a step and careened down nearly two flights, before resting with my legs up in the air and unable to move. For a second I thought it might be bad, then, I was unable to stop laughing...wishing so very much that someone had gotten to witness the whole thing.  I mean I would have paid to see video of the event...I probably would have watched it over and over again. Why? Because I thinking falling is funny. Other people do too, even if they won't admit it. Funniest Home Videos has been on for a long time...because people falling makes you laugh. I am not a frequent faller, but when I do, I do it up right. A couple of months ago, I was walking into Target with a friend. Inexplicably, I just fell down off of my four inch wedges. I could not stop laughing. People walking in at the same time probably assumed that I was drunk. Nope, just lost control over something I have had lots of practice doing...walking. Most people who know me fairly well, know that if they end up on the ground, I will have a field day. It's okay, I warn them, they are expecting it. But where did this come from? It's not very nice. I blame the stooges. All three of them. I watched the Three Stooges every morning before I went to school as a child. With each slap, push, fall and injury, I laughed harder. It was a ritual...The Three Stooges and my favorite breakfast as a kid...wait for it...two slices of peanut butter toast and a piping hot glass of jello. Yep, you read that right, hot jello. Strawberry to be exact. Tasted a bit like hot wassel and I loved it. This Friday a new Three Stooges movie is coming out on the big screen. We have already made plans to see it on opening night. I would imagine that it will be utterly ridiculous, at least that's what I am hoping it will be. I may have to sneak in some peanut butter toast and hot jello to complete the trifecta, they definitely don't offer that at the concession stand. So now that you have read this and if you didn't already know, you are fair game. Walk gingerly in my presence. And for goodness sake, if I can't manage to walk successfully when I am near you...point and guffaw. I will probably beat you to it.